As I ride the train, sometimes the most random memories travel through me. I remember when I first moved to Brooklyn and the choices I had made as a 17 year old turning 18 and a 19 year old. It’s amazing how the teenage brain believes it’s decisions are the utmost best choices one can make. The confusion our young minds go through searching for “love,” happiness and success.
Even though I am only 22 years old, who will be 23 this Fall. I can see the change that has taken place in the four and half years of my life. Some of my goals gave remained the same and have also progressed. I notice that my first “adult” relationship as a teenager was far from what was right. Don’t get me wrong I put certain things first and certainly ended it when I was able to see what little of a future I truly had if I chose to settle with a soul that was not intertwined with mine. In reality, I guess what I look back at are my actions once I became single.
I began to value the single life, but not for myself. I still continued to put others before me and leaned the hard way to truly be comfortable in my own skin. I focused on school, but allowed the world of dating, partying and materials things to surround me. How I wish I would have been more wise in my spending habits and other daily choices.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re still young! Yes, I am! Although, it is hard to get into the groove of consistently making choices that will benefit you even if the outcome is not everything you want. Now with only one semester left until I earn my Bachelor’s Degree I continue to reflect on the beginning of this journey. As I search for the road to take in pursuing the rest of my career, so many thoughts flood my mind. The thoughts are more so questions; like, what will give me the outcome I want, what will allow me a network of valuable resources? It’s a shame I could not have a handbook to answer my every thought, but I guess that is what experience is all about.
I won’t share my future plans just yet, but I took the time to write this post because as an adult you just really never have it all figured out. Life while we live it, is just a never ending puzzle, constantly putting pieces together without the cover to guide you. You must reflect and move forward towards what ever your goals are of the moment.